


Lisa (or: Attack Of The White Suburban PTA Mom)

by fnowae



Series: the parenting adventures of the OT3 [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Light Angst, Lisa is an Ass, M/M, Parents, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnowae/pseuds/fnowae
Summary: "She di'nt tell him," Jakob huffs. "She just said my family is a 'bad example'." He looks up at Joe with wide eyes. "Do you thinks it's 'cause we don't have a dog? All my other friends have dogs. Maybe we need to get a dog."





	Lisa (or: Attack Of The White Suburban PTA Mom)

**Author's Note:**

> two of these in an hour cause why the fuck not. I've written six (seven?) fics today I need to chill

Joe is worried when he pulls up to pick Jakob and his friend up from school and instead finds Jakob sitting alone, waiting, looking sad. 

"Hey, Jake," he says, hopping out of the car and walking over. "Where's Nate?"

"Nate's not coming over," Jakob mutters, kicking despondently at a piece of gravel on the ground. 

"Oh, honey, why not?" Joe asks, kneeling down in front of Jakob. He's worried his son has lost his best friend. He knows how much Nate means fo Jakob. "Did you get in a fight?"

"His mom won' let him," Jakob mumbles, opting to stomp on the gravel instead of kick it this time. 

Joe's stomach turns as he realizes where this must be going. Even though he thinks he knows, he asks, "Why not?"

"She di'nt tell him," Jakob huffs. "She just said my family is a 'bad example'." He looks up at Joe with wide eyes. "Do you thinks it's 'cause we don't have a dog? All my other friends have dogs. Maybe we need to get a dog."

"Sure, Jakey, we'll think about it," Joe says, not so much a promise as an appeasement. He feels so sorry for Jakob, too innocent to understand the unconventional family he lives in. "Let's go home. Me and your dad and papa are gonna fix this, okay? We'll get Nate to come over."

"'Kay." Jakob shrugs, looking like he doesn't believe that. 

Joe takes Jakob's hand and leads him to the car. He buckles him up in the back and climbs in the driver's seat. The drive home is quiet, and the silence is filled with Jakob's heavy sadness and Joe's rising anger. 

When he gets home, he directs Jakob to go to his room and "play a video game or something, you aren't in trouble, your other dads and I just have to deal with something". Jakob hadn't argued. 

Once Jakob is gone, Joe storms into the living room, where Pete and Patrick are busy lounging around on the couch. They look up when Joe walks in. 

"Hey, babe," Pete greets him. "Didn't hear you get home. Where's Jake and his friend? They doing alright?"

"About that," Joe says, "I have an angry phone call to make."

"Huh?" Patrick asks. 

"Nate's mom won't let him come over because apparently our family is a _bad example_ ," Joe explains through clenched teeth. 

"Oh, god," Patrick mutters, grimacing. "What an ass."

"She's on the PTA, of fucking course, so I found her number on the school site. I'm gonna call her," Joe informs his boyfriends. "Nate is Jakey's best friend. We're at least going to try here."

"Alright. But put it on speaker," Pete concedes, straightening up from his slumped position on the couch. "I want to hear this." 

Joe dials Nate's mom's number and waits for her to pick up. 

She does on the second ring. "Hello? Lisa Ellman, speaking."

"Yeah, hi, Lisa," Joe grits out. Of course her name is Lisa. What a white suburban bigoted PTA mom name to have. "This is Joe Trohman. My son is friends with your son?"

"You'll have to be more specific," Lisa drawls. "I have two sons, and they both have _so_ many friends."

Pete makes a face of disgust. Joe has to agree. 

"My son Jakob is friends with your son Nate," Joe elaborates. 

"Oh," Lisa says, voice suddenly cold. " _That_ one."

"Yeah, that one." Joe frowns. "I'd like to enquire as to why you believe you can't send Nate over to hang out with Jakob anymore?"

"You know full well why," Lisa huffs out. "Your...your gross imitation of a family is a bad influence on my poor son. This is why I didn't want to send him to public school!"

"Oh, so you're one of _those_ people," Pete drawls out before he can bite it back. 

"Who is this?" Lisa asks. 

"I'm Pete. Also Jakob's dad. I also think he should be able to hang with Nate," Pete responds bitterly. 

"Uh, I'm here too," Patrick pipes up. "Patrick? Uh, also Jakob's dad. I like Nate. He's super sweet whenever he's over here."

Lisa harrumphs. "This is exactly the problem! If my precious Nate keeps seeing - seeing a boy with _three dads_ , he won't be sweet anymore! I don't want to ruin him!"

"Oh, wow, okay, it's like _that_ ," Pete seethes. "Lisa, don't mean to get personal, but something tells me we have a hell of a lot of a happier family here than you do there."

"How dare you!" Lisa gasps. "Your family can't even possibly be functional!"

"Um, we take care of our son and make sure he's raised in a caring environment where he learns to accept everyone," Patrick pipes up, his sweet words taking a bitter undertone. "You force your son away from his best friend because you don't want him to see anything other than a straight white suburban home. Something tell's me we're not the less functional ones."

Lisa gasps again, but says nothing more, so Joe picks up where Patrick left off. 

"Lisa, just let Nate come over. He and Jakob are really close. We aren't gonna, like, brainwash him just by existing. Don't worry." He shakes his head, even though he knows Lisa can't see over the phone. "You don't have to like us. But just let your son see his best friend, at least."

"I'm done with you trying to win me over to your - your _formless excuse to not settle down_!" Lisa stutters out loudly, and then promptly hangs up. 

"Did she just call our relationship an excuse to not settle down?" Pete asks, blinking in shock. 

"Yeah. I think she did." Patrick nods. 

Pete gapes at the phone. "We have a seven year old kid! We live in a nice house in a semi-wealthy neighborhood! That's literally the fucking dictionary definition of settling down!"

"She's just an asshole," Joe assures him. "Don't worry about her. If she doesn't let Nate over...well, that's her loss."

///

Joe has never been happier than the next day, when he pulls up to find Jakob and Nate waiting together to be picked up. 

"My mommy said she still doesn't like you and doesn't trust you but she doesn't want to cut off my social bonds for fear of permanent emotional damage!" Nate announces gleefully. "And then she said, 'Nathan, no, go away! I'm not talking to you!'"

"Also, he can stay the night!" Jakob adds excitedly. 

Joe chuckles. "Alright. Hop in."


End file.
